My name is Sydney Olberg and I’m so glad that you have considered getting the support of a doula! In addition to being a doula, I own my own business with my business partner (also a doula!) where we do identity navigation and anti-oppression work.
My belief is that the person giving birth is central but not alone; partners and all other support
people are essential to include from the gate but who these people are looks different to everyone. The secondary goal is to keep stress down so that you can access a feeling of safety. That will allow your body its best chance at doing what it needs to do but people give birth all the time in stressful situations. Additionally, I believe that birth looks different for everyone. There isn’t one way or one right way. We want to avoid trauma and build a sense of agency and autonomy is the main goal after the goal of a healthy baby and person giving birth; I believe that often one thing that is required that is lacking is for someone to just be able to sit with you through the intensity of your emotional journey through birth; handhold but also letting you guide as much as possible and if you need help, actually hearing the person and helping them.
I consider identity a lot in my doula work! I consider the identity of the person giving birth to be a large part of their experience. People have not had the same access or experiences and that impacts birth in our culture.
Birth brings out a lot of truths that can be hard to bear. It is also an absolutely powerful event that hopefully leaves you changed forever. I would love to meet you!